A Cure for Overwhelm

there's a different way to live • breathing room • John 6:35: I am the bread of life

Apr 28, 2025

Giant Heart Rock I found on the Madison River

“Well…there is a really nice guy in Montana,” lured Susan as I regaled her and husband with my latest “young widow” dating woes. Being in their kitchen while Paul cooked had become a regular comfort, accompanied by generous “Paul pours” of wine, good humor, and my usual rejoinder, “I’m gathering material for my book.”

Montana…give me a break.

From the fog billowing over the coastal range to the secret stairways of Russian Hill and the meandering drives from city to wine country, I loved where I lived and was grateful for my health, my kids, my friends, my job, the house…the only thing missing was the man; surely, I’d find him on the Peninsula.

That very summer, 2011, the kids and I visited Susan and Paul in Montana. I’ve told this story before, but when “the guide” put his hand back to help me through the muck and mossy boulders, I felt electrified! At our fishing spot, we sat on the bank and he set up a fly rod for me. Being together felt good, like we’d known each other a long time. He waded me out into the thigh-high current and stayed alongside until I felt comfortable, then he retreated to the shore to watch. Sunlight sparkled off the rushing water, a symphony of sight, sound, and force against my body. What a gift to be right here, right now, I thought. It felt right.

A cure for overwhelm

Soon we giddily realized: We don’t want to be apart…and we don’t have to—yay! (grammar doesn’t apply to star-struck lovers) So, I sold the house, quit my job, and moved to Montana (not at all in that order).

The honeymoon period made me believe anything was possible and that my problems were behind me. However, the qualities I got rewarded for in my career—type-A perfectionist, fixer, do-er, control freak—threatened my new life.

Each weekday I raced against the clock to meet people, participate in their good ideas, and brainstorm what “doing my own thing” was going to be. When the clock struck 3 p.m., I switched gears—time for school pickup, shuttling kids around town, and trying to do multiple things at once.

Before long, too-busy-too-much was back. Since I no longer used food to cope, my emotions roiled. My husband noticed and encouraged me to do something about it. Finally I sat down and took a breath instead of go-go-going and running on empty.

Breathing Room

Back when I was probably suffering with undiagnosed postpartum depression, I “won” a session with a coach whose business was called “Breathing Room.” I liked the idea of it but—I’m working! I don’t have time for breathing room! I filed her materials away for someday.

It took me years to be able to listen to my body. After becoming a mother, I came to faith through my food relationship, lived through the death of my husband, and by God’s grace, fell in love with a man who helped me realize: There’s a different way to live.

My turquoise bench…where I start each day around 6 a.m.

This bench lived upstairs in my old home. I never sat on it—too busy. One of the women who helped me decompress after moving to Montana encouraged me to make a special place for myself to read and write and dream. So I moved the turquoise bench to this spot off the kitchen.

What began as a place to journal before launching into my day, became a place to wonder and worship, a place to nourish myself with the Word and the words of others who speak into the complex beauty of life. Each day I jump out of bed early to let out the dog, make a coffee, light a candle, gather my notebook and pen, and be on my bench.

I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

John 6:35

Smooth Sailing, Fix Your Food Relationship in 2025!

So this is week 17 of Smooth Sailing. We’ve covered the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating, and I post every Monday to share my perspective on how to set yourself free from diet-thinking and live a more connected life. Please subscribe and share. Thank you so much for being here.

Here’s a recap so far, since the beginning of January:

About Love & Cookies, homepage

Fix Your Food Relationship

Week 1: Food Addict? Or Something Else?

Week 2: Health and Happiness

Week 3: Sugar “Addiction” and Primal Eating

Week 4: One is Never Enough…because None are Allowed

Week 5: Nutrition is a Thing

Week 6: Allow Yourself to Receive

Week 7: Think About Food Less + Enjoy it More

Week 8: Say Yes to No

Week 9: Your Natural Healthy Weight