Be Nice or Leave

our lives are meant to yield fruit • red currants on rye • snowgoose biscuits

welcome to the Lobster Shack, Redwood City, CA

be nice or leave…thank you

It’s hard to be nice—to others and even to ourselves—when we’re overwhelmed, anxious, or running on empty. A sour expression on our face gives away our impatience. Annoyance and frustration, whether it shows up in an angry outburst or quiet stewing, doesn’t feel very good. And that, right there, is the way of change—it doesn’t feel very good and deciding to change something, say something, or do something about it.

Our lives are meant to yield fruit and we can’t do so unless we’re grounded in love. I spent the first half of my life (I’m an optimist) addicted to my own way of thinking, feeling, and doing. I strived to be in control and have everything under control—every bite of food I allowed myself to swallow, every minute of cardio I forced into each day, and everything I touched at work, which was my life. Ahhh, the early days of Amy and Oracle.

When you’re the one supposedly in control and things go awry—a dating disappointment, a conundrum at work, gnarly traffic, cancelled plans (relatively minor happenings in the grand scheme of things, I now know)—stress ricochets back to me-me-me, the one in control…cue the anxiety, cue the often self-destructive coping. This looping cycle-of-me is not how we’re meant to live, it’s self-centered and we’re made for something quite different.

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28)

red currants on rye

Wild Rye, my Danish-style sprouted rye sourdough, darkly toasted, w/cream cheese and red currants

Since my first taste of Anna’s Daughter’s Rye that I purchased from Cowgirl Creamery in Point Reyes Station, I’ve loved dense, brick-shaped Danish and German rye bread (Rugbrød and Vollkornbrot, respectively). I purchased many loaves over the years but when I moved to Montana, I need a new plan.

After meeting Judy Cornell of Conservation Grains I knew I had found my source for grain so then it was time to make my first ever sourdough starter. After a couple flops I found the blog, Tartine Bread Experiment, which got me headed in the right direction.

In the middle of the 9-day process, I had to be in Jackson, so I toted along my baby starter, scale, supplies, and fed it daily. After a week it still wasn’t very bubbly, so back home in Bozeman, I put the jar in my book bag and went to write at the Wild Crumb communal table. I unscrewed the cap to let it breathe the bakery air. The next day…bubbles! Lots and lots of bubbles!

a labor of love

It takes six days to make a loaf of my Wild Rye—3 days to soak and sprout the rye berries then 3 days to mix, proof, bake, and cure each loaf in a linen wrap.

I sold it for awhile but not anymore. When I make a loaf, half is for us and the other half is a love present I give away. Judy was my latest recipient; she came down from Choteau last Thursday to swap out the two 25-pound buckets I keep in my pantry.

When you see rye bread at a bakery, I say buy it! You can always freeze it until you’re ready for it. I like it thinly sliced, darkly toasted, and from there take it sweet or savory or a little of each like the red currants on cream cheese topped with a fluff of prosciutto or anything Nic Bryce makes at Grotto Meats (try the coffee lonza!) A smørrebrød like this wants pickled onions, gherkins (Maille or Napoleon), and a pinch of micros or baby lettuces. A perfect summer meal.

red currants in the garden

snowgoose biscuits

a stack of Snowgoose biscuits

Between cookies and crackers lies the sweet-meal biscuit, also known as a tea biscuit, not to be confused with biscuit biscuits. There’s another term too, but it just makes me laugh—digestives…because they’re made with a little baking powder I suppose.

A slight digression while I’m at it, let’s not forget graham crackers which are definitely cookies but provided a good starting point for these biscuits along with the “digestives” from Hanne Risgaard’s wonderful baking book, Home Baked; Nordic Recipes and Techniques for Organic Bread and Pastry.

My recipe features the stone-ground Snowgoose flour milled by Judy Cornell. Snowgoose is made from hard white spring wheat combined with a touch of malted durum.

Fix Your Food Relationship in 2025!

Do you want to learn to live—and eat— like someone who can “just enjoy it” and not think about it all the time? Like that fantasy French woman with her wine and her chocolate? I have good news for you! It’s possible!

The thing is, how we are with food isn’t really about the food. Nor is it about eating or not eating or being weird with food in some secret way. How we are with food is a reflection of something deeper—how we live our lives, the choices we make on a daily basis…and the consequences of those choices. Here at About Love & Cookies I share everything about my food relationship, the good, the bad, and the course correction I’ve been on for the past 22 years. Why do I do it? Love. And because we’re so confused about what’s “healthy.”

Join me each Monday as we learn to nourish ourselves well and live more real, true, and connected lives.

Today we’re at week 27; if you’re new here or have some catching up to do, check out the About Love & Cookies archive. Jump around to what interests you, there’s nothing linear other than the first few weeks where I reviewed the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating.

Thank you so much for being here. Be kind. Eat well.